I'd Use My Hoe for More Than This

Guys, seriously. If you go to the trouble to steal a backhoe, of all things, smash it into a store, and steal something – wouldn’t you like to have taken more than just a pack of smokes & some Natty Light?

Regardless, cheers to you for style points.

The more perplexing thing to me, however, is this line:

“When officers arrived, two men fled – one in the backhoe and one in a car, police said.”

Last time I saw someone travel at a speed in a backhoe that could be defined by policemen in cars that travel up to 140 MPH as 'fleeing', I had just finishing bathing my unicorn in the sea of goody goody gumdrops. She gets sooo dirty sometimes.

Kudos, though, to the DPD for those cat-like reflexes and their lightning-quick speed. I'll be sure and remember that next time I need a handle of Kettle One.