Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Who's Down with JWP, Yeah You Know Me

An excerpt from the always-entertaining johnwileyprice.com:

John Wiley Price's brand of advocacy and activism can be summed up in this way: John Wiley Price addresses real issues, advances real change, and achieves real results. He has earned the full respect of the constituents within his district and in the County at-large. Additionally, he has placed himself in the vanguard for those who have been historically locked out, especially for African-Americans. He campaigned initially as “Our Man Downtown”, and has proven himself as such over the years.

So... where do I begin. This man has always been and always will be a cartoon character to me. So much so that I think when some of the funniest of funny got bored in Dallas one day, they created the enigma that is John Wiley Price. The first few times I sat through some of the meetings where, quite frankly, popcorn should be served to accompany the show, I was kicking myself for not thinking of him first. And it is only fitting that his bobble-head was just released & can be yours for the paltry amount of $24.95, as FrontBurner & City Hall Blog both recently reported.

What I also want to express is how grateful this city is to finally see "real change & real results" from one of our political figures who has earned the "full respect" of his constituents. Dang it... my bullshit-o-meter is beeping at me again... I thought I took the batteries out of that thing last time I posted...

Oh well. I guess let's take a look at how that should read:

John Wiley Price's brand of pent-up hatred & Go F yourself approach to the political arena can be summed up in this way: John Wiley Price finds a way to screw up real issues, underachieves on most issues in general, while guising bottom of the barrel priorities, likeKwanzaaFest as a revolutionary success, and advances change in the form of disorderly toddler-tantrum-esque conduct on a weekly basis. He has made most who voted for him lose all respect for their own political & personal judgment, while fervently striving for the Political Dumbass of the Year award distracting most in every meeting with more over-acted, poorly-scripted drama in five minutes than an entire season of The Hills. Additionally, he has placed himself in the vanguard for those who have been historically locked out, and to be politically correct will throw in the caveat of "especially for African-Americans," when what he really means is "the white man can go fuck himself." He campaigned initially as “Our Man Downtown”, and has irreparably damaged our district's confidence in the political system, as well as the overall hope of the County at-large that Dallas isn't actually run by a bunch of retards who shouldn't be allowed to cross the street, much less run a city.

You're welcome to the JWP campaign manager - you can use that copy free of charge because, gosh darnit, that's just the kind of unselfish, generous vanguard for advancing real change in our community that I am.

Carry on.

1 comment:

Sabrina said...

I never understood what he was. He's so cartoonish. You hit the nail on the head with this one. He be craazzy.