Monday, December 8, 2008

Thank You Dallas, My Love, for Keeping Me Entertained Even on Mondays

Isn't this kind of like me asking for an NCAA football national championship from Baylor this year? Or for John Wiley Price to give a speech at an upcoming Klan rally? Or for Ash & Marge (featured below) to 1) exercise via jogging versus purging and 2) come away from said jog without bruises all over their chin & stomach?

Seems slightly re-God-damn-diculous to me, Dallas.

Almost as ridiculous as this story about SMU's new 36-point plan to basically buy a "culture shift" to combat the recent OD deaths that just seem do gosh-darn peculiar to the administration. Flabbergasted, they are. Darn-it-all-to-heck. I'm just stumped silly as well. Aw-shucksy.

Here's a tip. Why don't we start by not creating a 36-POINT PLAN that any average SMU student will be forced to snort 100mg of addy just to make it past point seven? And seriously, what would SMU's b-school entrepreneurship program be without weekend basement coke deals at Suite? It's the foundation of Cox's notorious success, to be sure - not to mention the reason commerce is alive and well in this great city amidst a pitiful economy.

Don't kill that entrepreneurial spirit (and the future dollars that go along with it) that has built establishments like Urban Taco and Campisi's on foundations of white powder just to save a few lives, SMU... where do you think that $750M is going to come from?

And what a waste... what a waste. Because, damn it, that coke isn't going to snort itself.

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