Thursday, September 17, 2009

Another reason the City of Arlington should be lit on fire... repeatedly.

Cowboys Stadium shakes up life for nearby homeowners

ARLINGTON – The Wolfenbergers are fans of their newest neighbors but could live without the accompanying palatial home towering over north Arlington.

The retired couple – they have lived in the same house for 49 years – are among the hundreds of residents now sharing their neighborhood and lives with the Dallas Cowboys. Reactions so far have been all over the field, from open hostility to cautious optimism, as residents wrestle with traffic woes as well as the future of their neighborhoods.

"I don't know if the traffic could get any worse," said Boone Wolfenberger about the roadways around his subdivision north of Cowboys Stadium...

Not all the residents adjacent to the $1.15 billion venue, the world's largest domed stadium, are that negative.

But most have been affected in some way.

Since June, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' new neighbors have lived through eight major events – from concerts to Cowboys preseason football to the largest crowd ever to watch a soccer match in Texas.


Okay, I have to stop this madness here. I can't do it any longer. Even my drunkass is sobering up while reading this big pile of news-agnostic poop. And the entire time I'm reading this article, the same thought is running through my head...

"TGI Friday's potato skins will still be there tomorrow, you dumb high-risk heart-attack hooker. If Cowboys traffic EIGHT TIMES IN FOUR MONTHS has somehow truly changed your life in an overwhelmingly negative way, then what alternate reality were you in when you CHOSE to move to the City of Arlington in the first place? Holy shit, you might even want to say thank you for this stadium possibly adding a few years to your life thanks to involuntary prevention of your fat Arlington ass not lumbering its way up to any token chain grease-laden restaurant of the week. And for the 67th time, NO cheese sticks are NOT a good source of slimming protein."

Alrighty. I will get off my soap box for now, but let me reiterate to Arlington residents, the new stadium is most definitely THE single most exciting thing that will ever happen in your piece of shit city, so enjoy it.

And if you disagree? No problem. Just send me a note at and I will be happy to respond at my earliest convenience.

Nightie night,
Jackie O


Anonymous said...

Go Fuck Yourself Cunt.

Good enough?

Jackie O said...

Sweetheart, I thought we said we would stop communicating via blog comments when in the same house... or drop C-bombs before 3pm.

If I had a taint, I'd respond in that endearing way I usually do by telling you to lick it. But alas, no taint here. Just a c-bomb... and thanks to your creative ingenuity, my first book title.

All my love & post-3pm "Eat a dick"s,
Jackie O

Anonymous said...

Cupcake, your rambling again...

You need to stick to the cum-guzzling and lay off the cosmos.


Jackie O said...

Go find an 're, or maybe any available 2nd-grader. Then feel free to try that one again.

America's education system would be better off if Katrina had exhibited a little perseverance and finished the job in your state.