I Love You. Here's A Folded Piece of Paper to Show It.

Just a few of the things that went through my head while I was shopping for a card this Valentine’s Day @ the Cityplace Target:

1) The guy standing next to me is inappropriately close.

2) It is incredibly awkward to pick out a card for someone you care about, whether it's your mom, your niece or your significant other, while standing in a cattle herd-like crowd of people who also chose to wait until the last minute to pick out a frickin’ card to express their innermost thoughts written, of course, by someone else.

3) Why are all of these cards so completely (pick as many as apply)
a. Cheesy
b. Awkward
c. Not even remotely funny
d. Fucking gay
e. All of the above

4) Did I really just watch some disinterested lady grab whatever card she saw first, shrug her shoulders, and walk to the register? That guy definitely isn’t getting laid tonight.

5) Why do I keep looking at cards twice thinking they will seem less ridiculous the second time?

6) I give up. Where the hell is the blank card section?

All I know, is thank God for someecards.com. They always know just what I want to say: