As I was browsing through "party pics" recently I came across one which made me wish I had been a fly on the wall during the decision-making process to purchase the dress on the right. And wouldn't you love it if for once everyone really said what they were thinking when shopping? For example:
"Hey are you going to buy something not on sale today, preferably more than one item so I can make a decent commission? Or will helping you be a complete waste of my time?" the salesperson asks.
"Well, I tend to spend money I don't have - and my parents pay for most of what I spend even though I'm 25, so I'm going to pretend to look at all of the stuff not on sale to look like I can afford it, but then "conveniently" find just what I'm looking for on the sale rack. Then I'll tell you how much great stuff you have on sale, and you will pretend to agree, while silently resenting me even entering your store to begin with." the shopper says.
"Okay awesome. Well I'm going to look for a customer with more money than you, but I'll pretend to look your way every now and then. If you really need something, though, please don't ask me. It annoys the shit out of me when I have to go to the back to get a different size, and if you seriously ask me to call another store to see if they have something, I will mentally be giving you the finger while smiling and saying 'Of course,'" says the salesperson.
"That's fine. I'm looking for something to go out in - so it needs to be fairly skanky, make my boobs look a great deal better than they would with me naked, and just barely cover my ass. Part of me is embarrassed to be shopping for something like that, so I'd prefer you not help me anyways. I typically find most of my personal validation in degrading comments and/or looks made to me by men at bars/clubs, so I need an outfit that will get me the most attention in that regard so that my night out will have been worth the effort. Your judging comments while I check out will be plenty to make me feel like an idiot on my way out the door without you having to pretend to comment on how the red in this dress really contrasts well with my dark hair," says the shopper.
The salesperson looks up from the magazine she is flipping through and says, "Did you say something? I'm not sorry I wasn't listening, but I was busy thinking about how my parents paid six figures for a college degree and I'm making $13.50/hour selling ugly dresses to people like you. If you were asking me for help, please remember how I said it annoys the shit out of me, mmkay?"
And thanks to it being Friday, my guess is that there is a many a dress being shimmied into whose level of risque' could make that one pale in comparison. Sheesh. Since when did wearing a legwarmer as a dress become fashionable? I must have been home sick for longer than I thought.