Oh, Patty.

The hat that afforded me an open-container opportunity all day:


The shoes that show how over-the-top excited a straight man can get about an alcohol-centered holiday:


The table that sent me well on my way to mid-afternoon shambles:


The aftermath that tricked me into thinking it's okay for girls to use the men's room if the need is great enough:


The only reason I made it home:


Hope your St. Patty's was as memorably forgettable as mine.